Ai.. Ai.. I just realized that I overdrafted my bank account and there is really no particular reason for that to have happened, except that I totally forgot to keep an eye on my money. MONEY IS FUCKING IMPORTANT AND HERE I AM WASTING IT!

I am a bit miserable.

But its my own doing that has caused this.. I am overwhelmed by so many emotions, I feel stuck, and I feel unloved despite the wondeful expressions of love from my friends and family. It is that feeling of emptiness and void when one's head is in a billion different places.

I also feel lost and abandoned by the system, by not having internet access except for the one hour a day I can have at the local library, if its open on that day. And for having a prescription filled but only partly because my doctor wrote it so, and for having to use a ridiculous bus system that costs too much, takes too long, and doesn't go most places; for having to pay so much for things that should not cost this bloody much! If I feel like this, like the absolutely lonely soul that I am, then imagine those that really have less.

I wasted money, and I don't even have anything to prove that I enjoyed it.

How can a person move on when there is so much guilt to bury them alive?

How to have 'no regrets"?

I also miss my family very much.

But things will be fine. I will be fine, won't everyone?